Reality Of Trauma And Regaining One’s Power

Many people who have the physical diagnoses of fat disorders such as Lipedema, Dercum’s Disease are said to have trauma in their history. Many with eating disorders have a similar background.

I’ve come to know many, many people who are in this circle of physical health and emotional concerns with that history.

Trauma if left as it is, can make one’s life less than it could be. It can ruin a life. It can shorten a life. It can impact future generations.

Don’t throw away the power you have by allowing yourself to linger in a life that isn’t all that it could be.

I learned this mostly by taking myself by the hand and pulling and pushing myself forward. Sometimes through therapy sometimes in having my life move forward. all on my own.

Life has a way of taking that blank slate of a precious baby each of us once were and puts emotional dings, scrapes, dark marks and dents into our sense of self and world view.

Many of the world’s ills are passed down from one  generation after the other. Humans are the most capable creatures we know of on the planet, yet we seldom seize our own power we have to heal ourselves. If we can’t heal up some of the junk we emotionally carry around, the world is having to live without all the positive we have to offer it.

If we aren’t careful, we can end up knowingly or unknowingly wallowing in the muck of other’s dysfunction and take on  a confused toxic world view.

Is this really a social issue?

1 in 3 children are abused physically, sexually or emotionally by age 14. Then consider how many young adults are abused by significant others physically, sexually or emotionally in their 20’s 30’s and into the twilight years. It’s not uncommon for people to have layers of abusive experiences that puts them in a mental haze and inner physical turmoil that changes even their brain chemistry.

The important point I wish to make is don’t shy away from doing the work needed to rebuild yourself. Your value and my value is not based on the attitudes of those who in the past have harmed us.

I have had to rebuild myself and when I was up and running again, even though still in the process of repair, some people would say they didn’t know me anymore. I was nothing like the girl who would roll over and play dead on command.

Oh well.

Reality can be painful but it forces you to live where you have the most power in your life. Reality is where growth takes place. Where there is growth then life changing positive decisions can happen.

So if you haven’t done so already, find power and purpose in rebuilding in yourself what needs to be rebuilt.

There is no reason to apologize for believing every life has a place and deserves respect and dignity. You will be forced to include yourself in these ranks the more you understand.

Once you really learn and understand this and know that you are worthy,, you won’t settle for the dysfunction you’ve taken part in or subjected on yourself.

Be prepared because as an individual heals, those who are wallowing in the dysfunction will try to pull you back. Your health is too unsettling  to their world and for them it’s uncomfortable. Pick and choose your battles. Sometimes you can maintain relationships and there are times when you have to walk away. Each situation is different. Forgiveness is fine, self preservation when based on what you know to be true, is a must.

If you have the feeling that in their eyes you are expendable, if they leave you feeling small and not worthy, and there is a long history of such behaviors and attitudes, it’s ok to walk away.  They may raise a fuss through dysfunctional means, but that should only strengthen your resolve to not waste your time with them.

 

Find a wuiet Sunny spot in yourself where you feel safe.
Appreciate each stage of life
Hold close to good memories
Peace is the center of healing.

And I Didn’t Even Have To Nag Him…

I heard the can opener working and spotted him opening cans of black beans, peas and corn. I stayed quiet as I watched him combining the cans of vegetables with shredded ice berg lettuce. He put a large helping in a bowl and proceeded to eat it.

That was how I learned that my husband decided on his own, to begin eating a plant-based diet.  I never told him he had to do this, I just kept him informed of what studies were showing that gave additional credibility to why I was doing a plant-based diet. He and I have always had two totally different opinions when it comes to many foods, so it’s always been a respectful situation between us on food choices.

He also agreed to have a Coronary Calcium Scan done this week. He has his appointment and it will fit around his work hours. For those who aren’t aware, this is the best way to have an idea of whether or not your body has coronary disease. They give you a score based on current heart disease risks and what they see on the scan.

My husband is what some would call a “typical man”. You remind him about his health and he’ll compare his body to his old Ford pickup truck that years ago was an old junker he could keep driving as it fell apart. He then would point out that the truck always kept running. So for him to out of the blue to take his health seriously through joining me in avoiding eating animal products and to be willing to get a Cardiac Calcium Scan done,  is more than I could have hoped for.

I want to thank my husband right now, for sparing me from having to become a nagging wife about all this. I’m glad that I will be less likely to ever see him eating salami and peanutbutter together on Hostess bread again.  Beef hotdogs wrapped in a flour tortilla are now also a thing of the past.

Don’t worry dear husband, we’ll get you appropriate bread and you can still dine from time to time on hot sauce sandwiches. ( just leave off the peanutbutter when you eat them).

And Tim, let’s retire the can opener, ok? And your salads will be kept in the fridge in the “His” storage container. My salad will be kept right next to it in the “Her” storage container since we like different types of greens in our salads.

Thank you for taste testing the black bean burgers as we made them. They are in the deep freeze, available for both of our use.

Proud of you Mr. Hot Stuff! We want you around for a long, long time.